there’s nothing more romantic than someone choosing to learn you. flipping the pages in your soul delicately and digesting your chapters with an open mind no matter how difficult or uncomfortable some of your moments read, treating each bookmark with no judgment, but pure love.
It’s so overwhelming for me to remember how much I used to post about loving women in here and all the pictures and the crushes I had, and I remember so vividly how magic it was my first crush and the way that I loved their smell, their long hair and everything and today I’m married to a woman, like, wow! 14 year old me thought we wouldn’t even survive until 17 and now I am 26, married to an incredible woman, the kind of love that I miss her smell after 2 hours away and that makes me want to kiss her every time I see her face and dream about her even tho she’s sleeping right next to me. It’s insane that I got here, that I have all of this when for so long I would just pour my heart and soul in here, alone, crying until I fell asleep every single night and wishing I was dead.
I am not gonna lie, sometimes I do have those thoughts again, but it’s not the same, because I made it. I fucking made it!! I live in another country with the woman I love and our 3 cats and I am freaking alive!!
I wish I could talk with all my younger versions and tell them that we will be okay, that yes, it’s hard as hell, but we are so strong!! I wish I could hug younger me, because no one did it… and damn, she deserved it so much, she has been through so much so we could get here and she didn’t even know what she was fighting for. Well, dear baby me, thank you for fighting for us. This is what you were fighting for and I appreciate you so very much.
With all the love from the 2023 version of you. <3
